Waking

Waking up can be very scary. You never know what exactly awaits you when you do. It could be some random memory or a feeling. It could be a feeling of regret or sorrow or a feeling of joy and hopefulness. It could be your sweetie kissing you good morning with that special stench of bad breath that only he or she has, or it could be that excruciating headache that only a night of heavy drinking can produce. Either way it comes down to the unknowings of how it is actually going to feel when you do wake up, and that is something I that I think about every time I'm lying awake trying to fend off insomnia. Usually you can find a special sadness to that awakening, especially after a particularly great evening. You completed a quest of some sort and went to sleep satisfied. Now you must take on a new day with a sense of uncertainty and maybe a bit of anxiety with some unease dropped into the mix. I think this is the reason most people say they would prefer to die in their sleep and I can get along with that wish. I find myself considering that when I first wake up. I have experienced a vastness of emotions and wouldn't feel slighted much if I were to go eternal in my sleep this very night. I know this probably sounds dark but come on, it's just how I feel. Anyways, I'm sure there won't be any crossing over tonight (sorry John Edward). I'll likely wake once again with stinky breath in my face or an overall sense of dread, possibly (probably) both, and I'll just get on with it.